I hate underground suiciders as much as they hate themselves

Travelling on London tube at 9 am may not be a pleasant experience. The platforms are crowded and 3 minutes between 2 trains are meaningful in this sense. If trains arrived every minute (sometimes this happens, but sometimes not) than the amount of people would be acceptable. If the next train arrives 3-4 minutes later this means we have a crowded train in the morning. Not as crowded as in Japan, though. This is Europe, London Underground employees don't wear gloves.

Ok. It's 9 am, we already are in a crowded train where people read free newspapers or put mascara on their eyelashes or listen to music. More people get in than get off for about 8-10 stations. Then at the right station, where you have to get off you become free. Free to walk and to follow the crowd to a different line which is supposed to take you to work. Then you hear a voice announcing "Beause of a person under a train, there are severe delays on the Jubilee Line".
That person just chose to die at 9 am on a Monay morning on te Jubilee Line. Don't they get e-mails with cheap Valium and Viagra offers, do they? A posh (because it is in French) way to end your business is to drink "Vert de Paris". Or if you are on a budget suicide - try Domestos or Tesco Limescale Remover (the blue one).

Apart from pissing the city off with your death, some suiciders also destroy the life of the poor train driver. Some of the drivers never get back to work, after they see the person on the lines looking them in the eyes just before being turned into tomato soup. It's not easy for the driver and I can understand that. It's like you are a cleaner and someone commits suicide with your mop, in front of you. Or you work online and someone blows his brains on your Internet connection. You can't get back there: you change provider and notebook and never mop again.

If you are a future suicider and are reading this, you might want to consider the alternatives I mentioned and start using them on a Sunday evening while people are watching "Desperate Housewives". If you have chutzpah and want to feel you're dying, this way you will stay away from trains on Mondays.